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How to Start a Chain Reaction

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An update on the book I’ve been working on, which has nicely settled into the title THAT MURDER FEELING. The most recent feedback has been that the story remains confusing in the opening pages and so I’ve been re-writing the early chapters, all of which has me thinking about beginnings.

There’s a lot riding on opening sentences. They need to grab attention, establish the setting, hint at what’s to come. It’s the front door, ajar. Come on in, it says.

I tend to write the whole thing, start to finish, then edit away until the ending’s just right, the middle’s not saggy, the unnecessary stuff has been trimmed away — BUT the first couple of chapters, they’re the last to fall into place. Maybe they’re too wordy, written before I settled into the character’s voice. Or there are threads set in motion that turned out to be unneeded by the time I typed THE END.

Mainly, though, it’s something else. When you write speculative fiction, the reader needs a sense as to what kind of unordinary world lies beyond that front door. The setting, the rules, the stakes. Best delivered not in a wordy information dump, but with a drip-drip of detail that moves things along while leaving some (hopefully intriguing) questions unanswered.

It’s a bit of a balancing act.

The Rube Goldberg Machine

A novel is a chain reaction, a Rube Goldberg machine, a marble run, one thing leading to another.

For example, not a story:

Jane followed the hooded figure into the woods. And then she caught up with it. And then the suspect confessed to being the thief and handed over the jewels in his pocket. And then Jane escorted him to jail.

Story:

Jane followed the hooded figure into the dark woods, treading softly. BUT, distracted by the argument she’d just had with her mother, she forgot to mute her cell phone and a loud ring broke the night silence. And SO, as she fumbled at her pocket to get to the phone, the thief fled off into the maze of trees. Yup, it was her mother, calling again. This was the kind of thing they didn’t teach you in private investigator courses; she’d just finished hers not two weeks ago.

Jane looked up and realized that the thief wasn’t the only one who’d heard the ring. “Mom,” she whispered into the phone, the wolf’s growl raising the hairs on the back of her neck, “I’m going to have to call you back.”

Links that add up to story: But. However. So. Therefore.

(Not and then.)

The next link in the chain? Maybe a nice park ranger who’s good with wolves — call him Rick — makes an appearance to chide Jane for disturbing his animals, and we’re off on a romantic subplot.

The Push

If a story/plot is a chain reaction, made up of but and therefore links, what starts that chain reaction? Put simply, a complication in an initial set-up. In the Rube Goldberg machine, it’s the initial push of the button, the tipping of a lever, whatever it is that says GO before gravity and momentum take over. Jane’s out there following a thief in her first official case and things go wrong: The phone goes off, she fails to catch up with her quarry, there’s a wolf, and she meets Rick.

The later stages of the Rube Goldberg machine have an incoming direction, a natural entrance point, a degree less of freedom. A commitment has already been made, momentum is happening, the story is going over there – catch it and keep going.

But that initial stage of the contraption, the first page, the opening scene, the possibilities are all still there.

In a sense, there’s too much choice. I can do this, or that, oh and other, well, that could work too to get the ball rolling.

The solution, I’ve realized, is to think of the opening scene as not the first stage but some n-th stage, with already moving gears. After all, Jane up there has a life before those woods — for one, there’s that ongoing argument with her mother — even if that’s where we join her story, author and reader alike.

The ball, pushed along by the gears, rolls in from somewhere out of sight of the Rube Goldberg, encounters a sudden gap in its conveyor belt — and drops, engaging the machine.

The previous drafts of THAT MURDER FEELING drifted too far across the keep-it-short line. And so I’m adding a new Chapter One, with more backstory.

To show those gears turning.

Thanks for reading,

Neve

p.s. This month’s promotions! The Narratess Indie Sale is today and tomorrow, the other two are ongoing until the end of April.

I write mysteries involving time travel, parallel universes, and other speculative scenarios. Subscribe to my author newsletter by clicking on the button below! I send the newsletter out once a month.

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Mid-March One Day Surprise Giveaway

Grif and his camp friends are VERY excited about the March giveaway.

The subject line of today’s newsletter is misleading — it’s actually a two-day giveaway. Which means that if you’ve opened this email on Saturday the 16th, you haven’t missed it! Read on for the details of this no-strings-attached (not a single one!) ebook giveaway.

The back story: A few weeks ago, fellow author Carolynn Gockel invited me to take part in a sci-fi book blast she was organizing. It sounded fun, so I said yes and joined her Facebook group, along with dozens of other authors, where the plan took shape.

So what is a book blast? It’s authors coming together to gift free books to each other’s newsletter subscribers.

(Don’t worry, I’ve not shared your email address with anyone else and will never do so.)

How does it work? This link will take you to the Book Blast page. Once there, you’ll see that the books are subdivided into categories like Adventure, Crime & Mystery, First Contact, Space Opera, Time Travel, and so on. Jump directly to your favorite sci-fi subgenre or take your time scrolling down the page to see all the available books. One title that caught my eye was The Vacuum of Space by Julia Huni, a humorous mystery set on a space station!

Some of the titles are available on Kindle only, others on a wide selection of retailers: Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and GooglePlay. Feel free to grab one or two books, or as many as you’d like. Did I mention there are no strings attached? Do please check the retailer site before you one-click and make sure the price still shows as free. (Sometimes Amazon abruptly switches the price back and there’s not much we can do.)

I contributed two books to the promotion, so if you haven’t had a chance to read my time travel novelette and prequel to the Incident series, THE FELINE AFFAIR, this is a chance to grab it for free. The same with my standalone mystery-thriller, ALL THE WHYS OF DELILAH’S DEMISE.

Usually these kinds of promotions ask for something in return and I almost started typing the obligatory If you liked the book, please consider leaving a review…

But I won’t.

No strings attached should mean just that.

Happy reading!

Neve

I write mysteries involving time travel, parallel universes, and other speculative scenarios. Subscribe to my author newsletter by clicking on the button below! I send the newsletter out once a month.

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A Fortress, and How We Choose Books

This is a cellphone picture I took back in mid-December of Belgrade’s fortress, Kalemegdan. The fortress stands on a ridge above where two rivers, the Danube and the Sava, meet. That’s a view to the south, from along a fortification wall. It’s one of my favorite places to walk around in and explore. Every cobblestone drips with history, starting with Romans in the second century and with many a battle, siege, and transformation since then, layer upon layer.

It got me thinking about a subject with much smaller stakes, at least compared to all that history: the first stone that connects a book to a reader.

Something nudges us into deciding to jump on and spend hours on a reader journey—a journey we know is made up, fictional, just marks on a page. Does the cover pull us in? The Goodreads rating? Word of mouth? Stacks of books beckon as we walk into Barnes & Noble, as do suggestions from Amazon’s recommendation algorithm. So much to choose from!

I tend to jump around in genres as a reader and what I’m in the mood for depends on many a thing. I don’t really read reviews. Some covers catch my eye more than others. I’ll glance at the back-page blurb or the Amazon description. From all that possibility floating by, I lay the first stone. It’s pretty basic: I read the opening paragraph, maybe the one after it too, and some kind of magic happens and that’s how I know I’ll reach for my wallet. I used to do it right there in the bookstore, open to the first page and read. Nowadays I download a sample on my Kindle, which takes all of thirty seconds, and take a look.

Judging a book by a single paragraph seems akin to judging it by its cover. And, yes, I do occasionally end up DNF-ing a book (Did Not Finish). But generally speaking, if I connect to the book from the first page in some undefinable way, I’ll end up reading it to the last page.

I tend to avoid fiction while doing my own writing or editing because sometimes the other author’s rhythm starts to seep in and I find myself spelling honor as honour and so forth. I did, however, just finish a two-week edit of the book I’ve been working on — it’s getting pretty close to where it needs to be; this is the polishing stage — which means that it’s time to be a reader again. I happened to see Sulari Gentill’s The Woman in the Library mentioned on social mediaThe cover caught my attention, or maybe it was the title, or the quote at the top, “A treat for readers who love books about books.” Definitely promising. I downloaded a sample and read a bit. Houston, we have a go.

How do you choose your next read? If you received this in your mailbox, you can reply and let me know, or leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading!

Neve

p.s. If you are on the lookout for a book to read, check out these BookFunnel promos:

I write mysteries involving time travel, parallel universes, and other speculative scenarios. Subscribe to my author newsletter by clicking on the button below! I send the newsletter out once a month.

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It’s Time to Talk About AI

I’ve been playing with ChatGPT as we leave 2023 in the rear-view window and embark on the shiny new highway of 2024.

I like new technology, generally speaking. (Frankly, I wouldn’t say no to a robot assistant who’d decide what we’re having for dinner, remind me of appointments, proofread, and walk the dog on rainy days.) And let’s face it, like everything from the wheel to mobile phones, Artificial Intelligence is here to stay.

So, What Is ChatGPT?

Despite the name AI, models like ChatGPT do not really think for themselves. ChatGPT is a deep learner. It was trained not by being told the rules of the English language — it being impossible to come up with such rules, as a language is a complicated thing — but by being fed pages and pages of example text. That’s what the P in the name stands for, pre-trained. (Its full name is Chat Generative Pre-trained Transformer; you’ll also come across the term Large Language Model, LLM for short.) The model digested it all, looked for patterns, incorporated user feedback, and acquired the ability to predict the next string of words in most contexts. ChatGPT can carry on a dialogue and generate text on various topics. It’s a fancier version of those annoying chatbots that pop up on retail sites.

There are concerns. One is whether the training phase of ChatGPT violated copyright, overstepping the bounds of fair use as the model absorbed Internet articles and books available online. There are lawsuits. Another concern is that since the way it works is a bit of a black box, there’s a risk of accidental plagiarism. The model doesn’t cite sources.

AI as a Ghostwriter

You’ve probably already read news articles written by AI without realizing it. Some fiction writers have jumped on the bandwagon, using ChatGPT or other LLMs to generate a “zero draft”, which they then edit into something usable.

So if a novel is your end goal, how does it work?

My experiment began with me signing up on the OpenAI website. I stuck to the free version, ChatGPT. (There’s also a more sophisticated version, ChatGPT Plus, also known as GPT-4. It’s $20 per month.)

The interface is pretty straightforward. It’s very good at some things, I discovered at once. You can use ChatGPT as an online thesaurus, without the annoying ads. It excels at translating, at least with the two languages I know, English and Serbian. You can ask it for a list of words connected to a setting, a color family, or whatever random thing you need. For example, for the series I’ve been working on, I was looking for an out-of-the ordinary style of fence. Not wood. Not aluminum. ChatGPT gave me a list of ten options, and one of them was a chalkboard fence, which I didn’t even realize was a thing. Perfect. Could I have dug around for unusual fences with a Google search? Sure. But it was nice to have a quick response without having to click through pages of Google results and ads.

But how about that novel writing?

Well, you can enter a prompt. For instance, I went with this one: “Chat, write the opening paragraph of a mystery. A woman breaks into a library after hours and encounters another intruder.”

This was the result:

Emma’s heart raced as she picked the lock on the library’s side entrance. The moon cast a silvery glow over the deserted town, and a slight chill hung in the air. The rusty door creaked open, revealing the dimly lit interior of the library, its shelves holding the secrets of countless stories. Emma had a mission—a clandestine rendezvous with a hidden manuscript that whispered of answers to the questions plaguing her restless mind.

Silent as a shadow, she moved through the labyrinth of bookshelves. The carpet muffled her steps, and the only sound was the soft shuffle of pages in the breeze she created. She reached the secluded corner where the coveted manuscript was rumored to reside, anticipation pulsating through her veins.

As Emma’s fingers brushed the edge of an old, leather-bound book, a noise disrupted the tranquil atmosphere. Startled, she turned to face an unexpected intruder stepping out from the darkness. A man, his eyes reflecting the same surprise that mirrored in her own. In that tense moment, the library’s hallowed silence shattered, replaced by the palpable uncertainty of two strangers caught in the act.

“Who are you?” Emma’s whisper cut through the stillness, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. The man hesitated, his gaze shifting between her and the manuscript in her hand. The library, once a sanctuary of solitude, had transformed into the stage for an enigmatic encounter. The answers Emma sought were within reach, but the mystery had just taken an unforeseen turn.

ChatGPT came up with that in about ten seconds. It’s…not great? Overwritten, flowery, lacking in specifics and grounding details.

I did a few back and forths, requesting that ChatGPT alternate between short and long sentences, add sensory details, and have the intruder be someone from Emma’s past. Here is what it came back with:

Emma deftly worked the lock, slipping into the moonlit library. The scent of aged paper and wood polish filled the air as she stepped into the quiet expanse. The shelves loomed like silent sentinels, their secrets veiled in shadows. Her focus was laser-sharp on a hidden manuscript, its pages rumored to hold the answers to the questions that tugged at her consciousness.

Silent as a whisper, Emma navigated the shelves, the rough texture of the carpet beneath her feet absorbing the sound of her movements. Her fingers trailed over aged spines, feeling the cool embrace of leather and the slight roughness of worn fabric.

A noise shattered the library’s hush, a figure emerging from the darkness. Their eyes met, mutual surprise etched on their faces. The library’s tranquility morphed into a stage for a clandestine encounter.

“Who are you?” Emma’s demand sliced through the silence. The man hesitated, eyes darting between her and the manuscript. The air crackled with uncertainty, the unfolding mystery taking an unexpected turn.

As recognition flashed across Emma’s face, it wasn’t just any intruder—it was someone from her past. The past she thought she’d buried, a door creaking open to memories she had long tried to forget.

The library held not only the promise of answers but also the specters of her own history.

I still want to take a red pen to this, but at least now we’re getting some tension.

I stopped there. But could the generated page have been reworked into a decent story opening? Sure. With time, ChatGPT would train me in the kind of instructions it needs and it would spit out text closer to my own style of writing. And presumably the paid version of ChatGPT yields better, even faster results.

Thing is, it seems to me that I’d be trading away the fun part of writing, for speed. Exchanging the playground of creativity for prompt mastery. Foregoing the hard work that makes the work my own creation and not a machine’s. The earning — the journey — is not only part of the process. It’s the whole game.

And there’s something else.

Rereading what ChatGPT wrote above, it strikes me that what’s missing most of all in its output is seasoning. The text it provided is bland. A lukewarm airplane meal. Wonder Bread, still in the package.

Let’s Talk Bread for a Minute

These days, since my husband is gluten free, we follow a recipe from this cookbook, Gluten-Free Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. The title is misleading. Five minutes is how long it takes to transfer the dough you’ve already prepared and stored in the fridge into a baking pan and shape it into a loaf. Making the dough, well, that involves yeast, 3-4 kinds of flour, and about three hours. The baking adds another 45 minutes. But you know what? The end result tastes way better than store bought gluten free bread.

Another bread I know how to make is traditional Serbian pogacha. That one takes about three hours, too. Yeast, kneading, an egg wash at the end. My mother’s recipe. Baked in a round pan, it’s particularly good when paired with prosciutto and a bit of feta cheese.

Image: Klaus Nielsen from Pexels.

Woven into home-made bread are time and effort, the quirks of the chef and her kitchen, a bit of history and artistry even.

And so it is with books. In my time travel series, Minnesota plays a role because that’s where I live; Pompeii, because I’d always wanted to see it. A novel of mine might lean more towards mystery or closer to sci-fi/speculative…or it might hover right there, on the sharp divide. We make what we make.

Nothing wrong with Wonder Bread. It’s been around since 1921, it’s soft, conveniently pre-sliced, always the same, and comes in a familiar red-blue-yellow package.

What would be wrong is if I tossed it into my grocery cart, drove it home, took it out of its wrapping, and pretended it just came out of the oven.

The Bottom Line

Look, I’m not gonna sit in front of my MacBook Air, with its spell-checker, thesaurus, and Wikipedia at my fingertips, and argue that the One True Method of Novel Writing is chiseling into stone letter by letter. Will there be a time down the road when the models improve, are trained ethically, are as common as word processors and prompt mastery an art of its own, the pointing of a camera into a landscape of words, and only dinosaurs refuse to use the technology? Possibly. I can see the appeal of a chapter draft served up in a blink of the eye.

But for now? For now, I’ll stick to the old way.

My books will be of the artisan kind. I’m not a very fast writer, so the production time will be long. There shall be typos. Odd bits of humor. Peculiarities due to English being my second language. Random facts I happened to be in possession of will make their way into the story, as will my inner-world concerns, dreams, opinions. A novel is an opinion piece. Art. A playground. That’s the fun part, after all.

By the way, I asked ChatGPT to come up with a title for this post and it suggested Navigating the Write Path: A Fiction Writer’s Skepticism on AI and Novel Craftsmanship.

It was one of ten options it provided for the title. They were all long and they all had colons. ChatGPT likes colons. It’s not an intelligence, it’s not doing it on purpose — but what it is doing is offering up its own quirks in the place of mine.

Thanks for reading.

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December Newsletter

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I Now Have a Substack

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October Update

Hope everyone is having a good fall (or spring, depending on where on the globe you are!)

First, many thanks to those of you who kindly agreed to beta read If Your Problem is Murder and waded through the rough version of the manuscript. I received a lot of helpful feedback, digested it all, and gave the book one last good editing pass. It’s now ready for its next step – querying. That’s when it makes the rounds of literary agents — and I think I’ve thought of an even better title (to be revealed at a later date, if it sticks around!) as I send the manuscript out the door. The thing to know about querying is that it’s not a quick process — something I’ll have to remind myself of, as I’m very eager to get this book out into the world and share it with everyone. I had a lot of fun writing it.

In other news, back in September, I attended the yearly Writing Excuses retreat (WXR 2023), which takes place on a cruise ship. This year the destination was Alaska, where I’d never been before. My 19 year old son, Dennis, came along with me and there were about a hundred other writers. We departed from Seattle, with ports of call at Ketchikan, Icy Strait Point, and Juneau. It was a busy week of classes, lively group dinners, great food, sightseeing excursions, and a bit of writing tucked in here and there. The photo at the top is of Dawes Glacier. I took it on my aging cell phone, in the drizzle, from the deck of the buffet restaurant at the ship’s aft. I hope some of the breathtaking beauty of Alaska comes through. All in all, it was a great trip. My only complaint is that the week went by too quickly!

Next, in the spirit of a rising tide lifts all boats (as I wrote that, I realized it was in keeping with the nautical theme!), I’ve joined a group of writers who cross-promote via a site called BookFunnel, so you’ll see me post an occasional link to there. This month we’re doing a Mystery/Thriller giveaway, including All the Whys of Delilah’s Demise. If you follow the link, you’ll see a list of books. You can get a free copy of any of them by signing up for the author’s newsletter.

The link will expire when the promotion ends, on October 31.

I’ll wrap up this month’s newsletter with a picture of the dessert menu on one of the cruise nights. My son had the Baked Alaska and liked it, but I thought, Chilled Banana-Cocoa Custard, how often do you see that? With tahini, maple syrup, and Medjool dates, no less. It was delicious.

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Call for Beta Readers

The title says it all. Book 1 of the new speculative mystery series is done and looking for a couple of beta readers!

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, a beta reader is a generous soul who volunteers to read a pre-publication draft of a novel and provide feedback. (Alpha readers see the manuscript at an early, still-in-development stage; beta readers see a close-to-publication draft.)

If Your Problem is Murder is a speculative mystery set in 1985, the first in an intended series. (Yup, this is the book formerly known as Dogwood, the one I was determined to find a one-word title for. As you can see, it…didn’t work. Maybe I’m just fated to have long titles?) The book is 77K words, about 275 pages. Here’s a brief pitch: In this small town mystery series, Redmond Marrs, a life coach with a big secret, tackles the personal problems of residents—all the way up to murder.

Let’s do a quick Q&A:

Does a beta reader need any previous experience?

No, just a love of reading!

What kind of feedback will be expected?

I like to keep it simple. The main question I have for you is this: Is the story working? If not, which parts?

The important thing to remember is that you can’t hurt my feelings. I’m eager to make the book be the best it can be. You would be helping me do that! The manuscript has not been copyedited yet, so at the very least you should expect to encounter typos and the odd goof (timeline or factual) here and there.

What do I get in return?

A signed copy of the book upon publication and my eternal gratitude.

What’s the timeline?

I can email you the manuscript immediately. I would need to receive your feedback by June 9.

What’s the next step?

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, great! If you’re reading this in my newsletter, go ahead and respond to the email and let me know your preferred format. The options are .docx, PDF, epub, mobi. I can also do Google docs. I’ll reply with further details and the manuscript.

If you’re seeing this on Goodreads or elsewhere, sign up for my newsletter here to follow along with the latest writing and book news. As I always, I can also be contacted via the form on my website.

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Welcome, 2023

Happy New Year! For me, January 1 always brings with it the feel of a crisp new notebook. Pages yet to be written. Moments to be grabbed, new things to be learned, adventures and struggles awaiting just around the corner.

Blue skies ahead, what’s over the horizon as yet unknown.

The ocean water picture is one I took from my cabin on the Writing Excuses Workshop and Retreat cruise, this past September in the Western Caribbean. It was an extraordinary experience. I’d never been on a cruise before, or the Caribbean, or a writer’s retreat. I can happily report back that I met and got to converse with some wonderful people, attended group dinners in a grand dining room, sat in on lectures by authors Brandon Sanderson and Margaret Dunlap and agents DongWon Song and Seth Fishman, went on three lovely excursions, watched a nighttime lightning storm from the ship’s railing, visited Rose and Jack’s “I’m king of the world” spot on the bow, and never got seasick!

I had planned to do a full edit of Book 1 of the new mystery series on the cruise, somewhat optimistically in retrospect. With all the other activities, I managed to get through about 150 pages, so just about half. I did attend an “unlocking” session, which helped clarify some issues I had been struggling with, mainly having to do with the big arc of the series.

By mid February, there should be a near-final draft of the book. The working title, Dogwood, is not here to stay, alas, but I’ll leave the unveiling of the new and improved title for a post down the road. When I’m happy with the manuscript, I’ll send out a call for beta readers. I’ll give out more details then, but basically the way it would work is I’d provide a Word document (or other format) with the 300-page manuscript and brief guidelines as to the type of reader feedback I need. In return you’d get a deeper look into my writing process than this newsletter, my eternal gratitude, and a copy of the book upon publication in your preferred format, ebook or print. Be on the lookout for the email if you’re interested!

On a social media note, going forward I’ll be taking a break from the merry-go-round that’s Twitter. I’m trying out Mastodon — you can find me in the Wandering Shop, a community of science fiction and fantasy readers and writers. I’m @neve there (@neve@wandering.shop). So far I’m finding it welcoming and less adversarial than the ‘birdsite’. I’ll still be on Twitter, just not as much.

May this new year bring you lots of good things!

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June Update

In the Back Yard

Summer has finally arrived here in the Twin Cities after what seemed like a VERY long winter. The grass is green, dandelions are popping up all over, and the purple magnolia (Magnolia Ann) in our back yard survived its first Minnesota winter, no small feat. The picture above is from a month ago, mid-May, when the flower buds were just starting to emerge. (As to the yellow spots in the yard, well, if you have a dog you know what they are!)

Book Update

There’s now a complete first draft of Book 1 of the new series, best described as a mystery series with speculative elements. For now I’m still sticking to Dogwood as the title, though that might change later on. Luckily, unlike the rest of what goes into a novel, it’s the one thing that can be settled on at the last minute and mulled over and over in the meantime. I find that my brain likes to play with potential titles in the quest for a more catchy one or one that better captures the essence of the story or has some mysterious it factor.

At the very least, I’ll be adding a subtitle… A Peculiar Botanist Mystery, Book 1 is the front runner for now, though I’m not sure if it conveys enough of the speculative part of things.

Travel News

We have two family trips planned this summer, both of which I’m very much looking forward to, and then in September I’ve signed up for a writing retreat, something I’ve wanted to do for a while now but the timing never worked out before. It’s the Writing Excuses Workshop and Retreat 2022, which will take place on a cruise ship sailing the West Caribbean.

The plan is to take along a near-final draft of Dogwood to edit, along with a second goal of planning the structure of Book 2. And then goal three, which might be most important one, to hang out with and meet other writers! And four, enjoy the sightseeing and the ship and hopefully avoid getting seasick… I’ve been on short boat rides but never on a cruise, so I won’t know until then and there about the seasickness part, wish me luck : )